Fathers Be Good

Love here!
<3

Happy Fathers Day! To all the dads, dads to be, grandpa's, uncle's, step dad, and just males in general that take care of children, even when they don't belong to you: Happy Fathers Day! Anyone can be a father, but it takes a lot to be a dad. Anybody can shoot some sperm off into a woman and create a little one. It takes a strong, open, willing, truly loving individual to be a dad. Dads have to sacrifice everything for their child, and if need be, even their life.


I once met this guy who had a child. He was a father, NOT a dad. It was a random Friday, at one of those clubs where drinks cost a dollar for most of the night. This dude was 6 ft 8 in, and loud as hell. From the moment I walked into that club he was trying to get my attention; he gave a shot out to my purple shirt, and how nice my skin tone was. ( wierrddd) Half way through the night, after enough cheap liquor drinks to cause a massive headache in the morning, he takes a seat next to me. The music was loud, and I was tipsy; I tend to loose my hearing when liquor infiltrates my system. Long story shorter he ask for my phone number. I give it up, not able to think of a fake excuse not too, or formulate a fake number quick enough. The moment this guy finishes entering my number in his phone I see his wall paper on his screen. Its a picture of him and a small baby. I ask him who that is and he tell me it is 7 week old son. At that time that didnt mean anything to me, but time showed me this dude was a father and not a dad. About a week later this dude calls me and I can hear music in the background. First off it was a Sunday night around booty call hours. B, he clearly sounded distracted and I couldnt understand why he continued to talk to me. So by the end of the conversation it comes out that he is at the strip club and just wanted to check in with me before the weekend was over... Hunh? You are at the strip club on a sunday? Im all for fun, but on the lords day? Butt nekked women? Word? Ok, to each his own. First red flag. I would expect a guy who has a child, to be home with that child on a sunday night. But thats me. A couple days later he calls again; we have the usual "getting to know you" convo. He ask me what I like to do, and when I ask him the same his answer really shows me who he is.
" Drink, smoke, party, go to strip clubs, chill out with my friends" he says

"And what about your baby?"

"Oh yea, that lil nigga too."

Wait. What? That lil nigga too? Maybe that wasnt his exact wording but he might as well have said that. On top of that he went on a tangent about how much he hates his baby's mother, something about a restraining order, and that when its his week for the baby he doesnt have to see her. After this day I never talked to this guy again. It just didnt sit well with me that he had a 7 week old son that he had no care for. SEVEN WEEKS? This bundle of joy just got here and you clearly are not concerned in the least bit about your impact on his life. It really hurt my heart to see something like that. His whole situation showed was a prime example of some one who was a father and not a dad. Not in the least bit.

I also knew a guy who was a dad. The moment he found out that his girlfriend was pregnant, he went a bought a ring. At that time he was a student in Atlanta, and his girlfriend was in Ohio. That summer he worked, and worked out a way to transfer to a school in Ohio to be with fiance. He ended up moving in with his then fiance, taking care of every need she had, and waited happily for that baby to pop out. It wasnt until after the baby was born, that he was told it wasnt his. I know that hurt him a lot, because he did everything he had to do to be the best dad to that child, and to find out after the fact that it wasnt his really messed him up. But even then he still took care of that baby as if it were his. He did not have to, but he did. And they fact that he says a lot about his character.

I realize that to be a dad, you take accountability for your actions or decisions and become a provider, a rock, a being that will be needed for a life time. Not everyone has the mental capacity to do this. Some think they do, but when they are placed in that situation they may become scared, realize they are too selfish to do this, and run. My grandfather had over 20 children. He only married to two women; my grandmother, and his now wife. Although he was a father he was not a dad to any of those children. He ran from all of them and tried to hid all of them from each other. It wasnt until his death that my grandmother, father, and uncles met all of their other brothers and sisters from all over the world. It was the weirdest experience Ive ever had. Here we are in this church, saying good bye to this pivotal person in our family, but also saying hello to 20 new additions to our family. I couldnt understand why my grandfather would do such a thing; leave his children and pretend that they didnt exist. But I realize now that some people are meant to be dads, and some can only be fathers.




When I start my family with my significant other, I know that I want him to want to be a great dad. I know that I will need him to be a rock for all the times I that I cant be. I know that I will need him to be stable, when I am too emotional. I need him to be logical when Im illogical. I basically need him to pick up on all the things that I lack. But most of all I need him to want to be a dad, and not just a father. I dont want him to just be ok with being a father. I want him to want to have a family, to want to be there, and to be willing to give up everything for that seed. I know it sounds like a lot, and a bit extreme, but really thats what is required of a dad, and thats what I want. A dad.



Now I know everyone has their daddy problems, lord knows I do. How many times have you heard: He wasnt there enough, He never listened to me, He never was there for me, He yelled at me too much, He never loved me, He never told me he was proud of me, He never let me live my life, He never approved of what I did, He pushed me too hard, He never really cared, He never talked to me, He lied to me, He hurt me, and so on and so forth. The fact of the matter is there is no dad that will be perfect. He's always going to fall short in some type of way because he is human. What truly matters is that he is doing his best to provide for you, make sure you are safe, and give you all that he has to offer. There are people that arent blessed with a dad, that will never have a dad, and always harbor some type of pain for not having one. So instead of pointing out what your dad does not have, be thankful that he is your dad, that he loves you, and that he is a part of your life, because there is always someone who hasnt had that blessing.


Lastly I really want to give a Happy Fathers Day to the Dad of all dads. My father GOD. Thank you for always loving me. Thank you for blessing me with a dad that would sacrifice any and everything for me. And thank you for always being my father, even when my biological couldnt bother.

Give your dad an extra hug, kiss, time with the remote, something. And give your real dad all the praise he deserves.

Luego!
<3