The beginning

Love here!

♥

This is the beginning of an adventure, my adventure. My adventure to love. I want to love again. Not a person, but myself, my life, and everything in my life. I feel as though I'm so far from loving the way I use to, and I just want to get back. So far gone. Too far gone to the point that the other day I didn't think I would ever love again. I was in a dark place that I hadn't been to in years and a place I promised myself I would never go to again. Unfortunately I was there, and had been there for a while, but was too blind in what I thought was love to realize where I was. Only when the smoke and mirrors crashed and faded away did I realize what the hell happened.

I call myself a lovechild because of how I was conceived (we will get into that later, much later). I consider myself to be a very loving person, sometimes too much. I love people and life despite the ugliness, lies, and hurt they put me through. Throughout my life I have been hurt many times; but I have always managed to get back up and love 10 times harder than the time before. No one loves like I do. I believe its a gift and a curse...

So, right now I'm experiencing the 5 stages of grief. I know by the end of the week Ill be ok, but its only day two. I feel much better today than I did yesterday but boy is it hard.

The 5 stages of grief they are : 1)Denial and Isolation, 2)Anger, 3)Bargaining, 4)Depression, and 5)Acceptance

So I definitely went through stage 1-3 already. I'm either in 4 or 5 right now. Im pretty sure its 4 because there are moments when I think Im ok...and then there are moments where Ill just start crying hysterically out of nowhere, or cant sleep for hours.


I open with this just to explain where I am right now. So some of this will be funny, happy, hysterical, but some of it will be sad, miserable and a little redundant. But I know I need to do this in order to move to a more positive place. Let go of the old and embrace the new

I know its going to be hard, with a lot of tears and anger, but Im ready for an adventure. (happy dance)

Love out.

♥